Dear Old African People👴👵

Our “culture”, says during a disagreement between an adult and a child, the adult is always right. I hope the flaw in this reasoning is realized whenever you boast about it – boast because that is the go-to phrase in an effort to pull rank.

The past generation is a lot different from the present so when references are made to how things were done, I can’t relate. Keep in mind that life is dynamic and change is inevitable. The most dangerous phrase in the language is, “We’ve always done it this way.” Now, that was said by Grace Hopper, who is from generations before you.

I have heard many elders go on and on about how children of this generation are disrespectful. Do you know the meaning of disrespect? Do you really? Disrespect:- IMPOLITE, OFFENSIVE, INSULTING. My father taught me all about respect but he also taught me to stand up for myself. He didn’t raise me to be timid. On the contrary, he raised me to be assertive. Assertiveness never equates rudeness. Oh! I failed to mention, he is from your generation. I have grown to learn that respect is earned, not demanded. I choose to live by this knowledge while realising that respect is a 2-way street.

So, with all due respect, the next time you reference the child-adult boundary, remember: technically, I am the child of my biological parents only. Legally, I have been an adult for a number of years. Granted, the Bible admonishes us, “Honour your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise)” – Ephesians 6:2. The same chapter goes on to say in verse 4, “Fathers, do not provoke/anger/exasperate/irritate your children, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Since we are still on  “child-adult” relationships, let me conclude with these final words of wisdom about temptation and the bearers of such: “It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble” – Luke 17:2.

Not Less of a Woman!!!

You choose to wear make-up on a daily basis, I choose to wear the natural face I was born with. It doesn’t make me less of a woman.
You choose to wear your hair relaxed or in weave extensions, I am tired of all that and so I choose to stick to my natural fro and braids. It doesn’t make me less of a woman.
You choose to apply all these skin lightening lotions,  I choose to use nothing at all or occasionally my coconut oil(which is heaven by the way). It doesn’t make me less of a woman.
You are comfortable in wearing your high heels every day, I am extremely comfy in my flats. It doesn’t make me less of a woman.

Wars still exist in some parts of the world, natural disasters are claiming the lives of people, gender-based violence has not been curbed but all you’re worried about is fashion styles and trends 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

Really, there is more to life than focusing on someone’s outfit of the day or how a person chooses to live her life.
If only we would spend this energy focusing on solving the many world issues,  we will be one step closer to contributing our quota towards achieving the sustainable development goals.

We are all guilty of this(I know I am),  at least, at one point in our lives we have been the ‘fashion police’. I may not have voiced it out but I have definitely thought it, which is no different. I have decided to free my mind of everything vanity and concentrate on the important issues of life. It would be a wonderful feeling to know that this post inspires you to do the same.
To my girls, be yourself, don’t be ashamed and never apologise for who you are ❤❤❤

Image: Google Images

Dear Future Self👸👸

No one likes uncertainty and that is why most people fear the unknown. Unfortunately, our life journey is never certain. If I had the chance to meet my future self, there are a few questions I would like answered in order that I don’t run around and waste so much time before I eventually get it right. I know this is impossible. Although my alter ego believes in time travel (and no, I don’t suffer from multiple personality disorder😑😑), I don’t and so I’ll keep consoling myself with the words of Doris Day, “Que Sera, Sera”. Then again, these are the questions I have if it was possible to meet future Sweetie Anang, hopefully, Dr. Sweetie Anang or Dr. Mrs. Sweetie Anang-SomeName.🙈🙈🙈🙈

1. Ultimately, will I be happy with all my life choices including my mistakes and regrets?
2. Will I be successful in my career?
3. Which of my ideas will come alive and which ones will fail?
4. Which ones of my friends will still be by my side and which ones will stay loyal till the end?
5. When will I get married and to whom?
6. Will I be able to complete my set milestones before marriage or does God have other plans for me?
7. How many marriages will I have? (Please, it’s a valid question in these times. Don’t judge!!!)
8. Will I find the perfect man God made specially for me, who will love me through my imperfections?❤❤
9. Please, who is he and what is his name? (Hahaha, then I can avoid multiple marriages)
10. Will I ever learn not to worry and sweat the small stuff?
11. Will I survive the pains of pregnancy and childbirth?
12. How many times will I have to go through that?😭
13. How strong will I be mentally and spiritually?👼
14. Do I get to meet some of my favourite famous people like Pastor Kim Pothier, Heather Lindsey, Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift and Adele?😍😍
15. Finally, will I always have my wide, beautiful smile and will I continue to have inner peace despite challenges?😎😎

If this got you thinking, I would want to know the questions you have for your future self. Comment below…

XOXO

2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here's an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,300 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 22 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Equality in Diversity (We are One)🌍

We all have some stereotype about particular groups/sects of people, but when we meet or hear about someone, let’s strive to recognise them as persons first, just normal human beings having similar features as us. Take the time to know someone as opposed to forming your own opinions of them based on past experiences or gossip you have read/heard. When you have taken the opportunity to really know someone and they ascribe to your stereotype, then you can choose to accept them as they are or cut them out completely and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that because we choose our friends and the people we associate with.
It is unfortunate that we live in a world that thinks it is okay to fear or hate the unknown. If someone acts differently from us or shares a different opinion or believes in something different then they are the enemy. I live to see a day when this becomes false but then again that would be too ideal and with the powers we are battling with that is almost impossible. Christian, Muslim, Traditionalist, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Black, White, Latino, Hispanic; what does it matter?  We are all one people made in the image and likeness of God.

Now, writing this post has made me think about one of my favourite songs from the Lion King, let me Google the lyrics and paste that right here:

As you go through life, you’ll see

There is so much that we

Don’t understand

And the only thing we know

Is things don’t always go

The way we planned

But you’ll see every day

That we’ll never turn away

When it seems all your dreams come undone

We will stand by your side

Filled with hope and filled with pride

We are more than we are

We are one

 

If there’s so much I must be,

Can I still just be me,

The way I am?

Can I trust in my own heart

Or am I just one part

Of some big plan?

 

Even those who are gone

Are with us as we go on

Your journey has only begun

Tears of pain, tears of joy

One thing nothing can destroy

Is our pride, deep inside

We are one

We are one, you and I

We are like the earth and sky

One family under the sun

All the wisdom to lead

All the courage that you need

You will find when you see

We are one

Lyrics: We are one

Queen’s Young Leader: Highly Commended Runner-up

So today,  8th December, 2015, it has been confirmed that I am a Queen’s Young Leader highly commended runner-up. I am very grateful to God for this opportunity to get some support in my quest to help my community be better.

As a highly commended runner-up, I will gain access to some mentors and have access to the bespoke online leadership course developed by the University of Cambridge; Leading Change. Most importantly, I get to belong to a whole network of Queen’s Young Leaders. I don’t get to meet and shake hands with the Queen of England 😣😣 but I am excited for what is to come in the next year💃💃. As a Queens Young Leader,  it is expected of me to continue the work I am already doing in my community. I look forward to starting my foundation and getting you all involved to help make Ghana a better country for ourselves and posterity.

Now, to my dearest friend and adopted sister 😂😂😂😂 Eboni Hooper, who encouraged me to apply,  thank you so much.  Although,  I had seen the ad about this program on Facebook, I didn’t deem myself worthy enough or qualified enough to apply but your determination,  belief in me and your commitment in helping me finish my application is the reason I am a Queen’s Young Leader runner-up. Like I have already said,  this victory is ours because you played a very important role in getting me here and so congratulations to you too my babe ❤❤❤.

B.A.C.H.E.L.O.R.E.T.T.E ✋

“Stop lying, you’re not single.”
“Why are you denying your boyfriend? “
” Really?  You’re single? “
” Beautiful girls are not single.”
“You’re too pretty to be single.”
” Is it your decision or the guys are just not coming your way? “
” How do you cope with being alone? “
” So when do you think you will get a boyfriend? “
” So don’t you want to get married? “
” At this age you should have a boyfriend and be in a serious relationship “

Whew!!  My ears have suffered. These are a few of the random statements my ears are tired of hearing.  I am writing this post to declare my position once and for all,  so if anyone ever brought it up again,  I’ll just direct them to this post.

The first guy I ever loved (for many years) slept with my cousin(sister). No one is perfect but I saw him as the perfect being. He was nice, sweet and kind-hearted and although we were never in an official relationship, it still does not change the fact that he did that to spite me. My cousin did me one by finally telling me the full story. It helped me to get him out of my head after so many years – he has no idea that I know the full story and if he decides to read this post then he will find out.  I realised that he wasn’t worth my time or effort and he definitely wasn’t worth fighting for anymore( I really wanted this one). So today I can walk about knowing that his chapter is closed and I’m perfectly okay with it.

The guy I dated cheated in plain sight and lied about it. Of course after we broke up, he didn’t waste time in dating the girl he swore he felt nothing for and there was nothing going on between them. At that point, I was just grateful that I wasn’t pulled back into his web of lies🎭. It was also very easy to get over him after I found out he had tried to get with my friend before me(which he had lied to me about telling me my friend was trying to get with him).

The second guy I fell in love with, hmmmm, this one eh!! You think physical abuse is the worse form of abuse, wait till you experience emotional and mental abuse. I honestly thought women were the most manipulative beings on earth but he proved me wrong. You won’t even know you are being manipulated and any friend who tries to advice you seems like the enemy👿. This one did me the most damage and I am currently still working through this one. With time you learn to live with and accept all the hurts and disappointments😭😭. I think I have come a long way, my heart is still beating❤❤❤ and I am still somewhat sane. It’s no use trying to relive what I went through by writing it, but I will let you know his excuse which came 2 years late by the way (the things people say when they are finally ready to confess, smh). “… I was never the kid who got all the attention from fine babes and stuff. And then all of a sudden…somewhere in my life it’s like I start getting attention from girls, you seemed to have come back and some other ladies… I was confused and very stupid. I couldn’t really make a choice… it’s unusual for some of us. It’s like a dream come true.” Like WTF???!!!!!! 😨😨😱😱😱

Yes,  I’ve had some almost boyfriends.  For some, it wouldn’t have worked out because they can’t stand my principles and strong personality (they claim I have high standards) and for others, because I spotted red flags.

Three strikes is more than enough,  more than anyone deserves to handle so please cut me some slack. And pardon me when I decide that I will rather be single than trust myself to human beings who have a tendency to be fickle. It is only by the grace of God that I have maintained my sanity. When my relationship status changes, I will alert all “worried” observers. Until then, please allow me to concentrate on the things that matter most.  Peace out lovers, xoxoxo!!!

Images: Google Images | Instagram

Raw Material: Palm Branches —>> Finished Product: Broom

This morning, I saw all of these palm branches cut down from two palm trees🌴🌴. Immediately, my mind went into economics mode. I started thinking💭:

1. Will all these go to waste?
2. Can anyone not figure out a way to make these useful?

Then I remembered, brooms are made from palm leaves. So, I hoped that whoever cut these will be smart enough to sell them to traditional “broom-makers”.

BUT!!!!! What disturbed me was the fact that I had to think for about 2 minutes before this basic knowledge hit me. Now, I wonder, “Will my children ever know that brooms can be made from palm branches since all we use in our homes now look like this?”

 

What did you learn from your most painful life experience?

This post is a copy of my answer from  Quora. Read and share.

1. Don’t expect people to be honest with you because you were honest with them. People lie to make themselves look and feel good.
2. Don’t believe everything you are told. People will say and do anything to gain favours from you.
3. If you have to be someone else to please them or be accepted, they are just not worth it.
4. Always put your happiness first. This is not to say you should be selfish unnecessarily.
5. If it causes you to lose sleep, get rid of it.
6. Love is in action, not words. If he says it a lot and does not show it(or shows it when it suits him), walk away.
7. Everytime you talk about your painful experience, you have to relive it. Learn to stop talking about it.
8. If they tell you they are confused, reduce their confusion by taking yourself out of that situation that seems so ‘complex’ in their mind. This may be difficult and so I suggest you prepare yourself mentally and emotionally.
9. Know when to refrain from giving too much information. Your attempt at being transparent will be used against you in the most hurtful way.
10. Accept that sometimes the pain never goes away and learn to live with it. However, don’t let it stop you from moving on(I am still struggling with this).

Random Facts 👸❤😻:)

As posted on my Instagram page after my forced self discovery trip.

1. Undisputable fact: I am pretty and no one can prove otherwise. Sorry haters. 👌
2. I am a first born child and an only girl.
3. I would rather be alone than in a crowd. I don’t think I am an introvert but I really cherish my ‘me time’.
4. Sweets. OMG I loooove love love sweets; cakes and ice cream are my strongest weakness. 🍰🍧🍫🍦🍩
5. I hate distractions when I’m reading a novel or watching series.
6. I wish I could stay in bed 24/7.
7. I can’t stand it when the sun is high. It makes me itch.
8. I love my dimples. Yes, I was blessed with 2 pairs.
9. It’s almost impossible for me to change my mind so my final decisions are made with a lot of thought and care.
10. I wish I could be taller.
11. This does not happen often but I can be very spontaneous.
12. I lose interest just as fast as I get interested in something. I bore easily.
13. Going natural is the best decision I ever made.
14. I dwell too much on the past and worry too much about the future.
15. I get fascinated by the little irrelevant things.
16. I misbehave when I am stressed and so I have learnt to joke about the things that stress  me out.
17. If you’re my friend, I’ll genuinely love you until you do something to prove that you don’t deserve it. 👭
18. I trust easily and so I hurt easily. Let’s just say I am very naïve.

 Laters!!! 👋👋👋